TOP TEN MOST FASCINATING PEOPLE ON KNUST CAMPUS
TEN MOST FASCINATING PEOPLE ON CAMPUS.
The aged normally say, ‘though the polygamous father might not know the names of all his children, he knows the character of them all’. I seem to know all people who walk the length and breadth of my Kingdom of NUST. As I promise you, today I bring you the list of the top ten most fascinating people in no definite order. They are fascinating in their own ways.
1. NANA ATEMUDA – Until recently, I did not know I had such a nice and robust gentleman in my kingdom. I guess this name is a household name here. His name booms across the airwaves almost every minute. When you listen to him most times on radio, he is fond of doing one thing. Describing how horrible a girl he met looks. He does so well that you might think he is an artist. I started wondering how he looks like himself that makes him grade my daughters like that. So I sent my palace messengers to go and look for him. When I saw him, I liked what I saw. He is a dark, well built gentleman with a fine face. He has this atta mills-styled eyes and nice flesh folding on each other. That is the perfect gentleman. Hey, when he speaks, he does it with some extra-ordinary confidence. He has his own way of doing things and it has made him a force to reckon with in my kingdom here. KNUST without ATEMUDA is no going!
2. EKPOR ANYIMAH – ACKAH. This guy just blows my mind. I heard he is the head of one of my provinces with much notoriety. He speaks in tongues like he is the second in command to Angel Gabriel. When he is talking, you would hear what we call Locally Acquired Foreign Accent. He does it so well that you would think he was born in the Buckingham palace. What makes him fascinating is that he likes POSITIONS more than the Russians like vodka. Eiiish! Unless he doesn’t hear there is a vacant position. I heard he has even applied for the vacant PRO VC position on campus KNUST. Please if you have heard of any vacant position, kindly inform him. He might be interested. I hear he is also a wayside comedian. That’s nice of him. The jack of all positions. What happened to his quest to bring honour to KATANGA by becoming the NUGS president? I need someone to exorcise this son of mine from the spirit of positions.
3. S.K OPPONG – he was the immediate past SRC president or whatever. When you meet him for the first time, you see a fine, down to earth, smart thinking leader. However, when you go through his daily stories when he was in office, I am sure the very people who admitted him into this school regretted doing that. My big mouth will pronounce him the worst thing that ever happened to SRC presidency. At a point in time he was accusing evil spirits of taking students money which he placed under his carpet. He looks so innocent but more dangerous than the threats coming from Iran. He ended firing almost everyone in his administration and the interesting part was that, they still stayed in office. He never graduated from school as well. So what does it benefit a man when you mess up student affairs and money and you don’t get your degree? That is ASEM SEBE! I think he will make a good president one day.
4. CEO of CYBERTEK – I hope you know that printing house that has branches all over campus. That man loves money. He never closes. He works all day and all night. He gets a lot of money from that business. I love him for his hard work and the very good services he offer students. But come to think of it, where do all those monies go. He is just like General Mosquito. I guess you know what I am talking about. At least he should let his chale-wate rest small. Even if he owed more than the Ghanaian government he would have paid off his debts by now.
5. ERNESTO – CEO of THINK TWICE FOUNDATION- if you don’t know him, just take the pain of walking down to Katanga. His biography is implanted in the courtyard. This guy has stay in school far more than the four year stipulated period. He however was not able to break the record of SADDAM, the longest serving student of our time. He is an anti-birth preacher and calls himself, the president of Apakye Students Union (ASU). Don’t ask me what it is. When he was a student, he slept in his green car and did almost everything there. This same car turned into a private taxi during day time. He managed this life till he completed school. One thing that fascinated all of us he never held a book or entered a classroom. If you are looking for him, watch out for the dark man holding a Castle milk stout bottle and limping on one leg and saying all kinds of unprintable words.
6. AFIA ANIMWAA – I heard she is the treasurer of NUGS. She is the sexiest lady on campus. You just cannot resist it when you see her pass by. She is so jovial and friendly. One fascinating thing about her is that votes never seem to like her. She stood for SRC treasurer twice and seven other positions and lost them all. During those elections, I heard they brought all the best Photoshop experts on campus to work on a winning picture for her. Stillllllllllllllllllllllllll. Even with her current position, I heard she won by just one vote. Lucky her. I think she should rather be going for beauty pageants rather than political positions. With that she can win hands down. If you want to test her hotness level, try her.
7. SAMUEL SAGOE- it has come to me that he is the heard of the manufacturers and users of all the sleep inducing pillows we have on campus. I don’t want to believe that though. He is extremely handsome with some smile that dazes ladies. When he was initially disqualified from the vetting of an election which he thought he had won already, hell broke loose and all kinds of political demons descended on people allegedly responsible for that action. I don’t know if those political demons are gone back yet. If they are not, hmmmnnn! He eventually won the election and became the president. One fascinating thing about him is that he makes more promises than the vice president of Ghana does. As to if he really delivers on them is a homework for all my students in LOUD MOUTH TECHNOLOGY. But I know he does two things so well. He dresses so well and knows how to place the picture of his concubine nicely on his office table. They call him SOCIO SAGOE.
8. ERNESTINA AND SISTER EGG FRYING COMPANY – just walk to the Queens hall market and ask of Ernestina and her sister. If you are not careful you would think Queens keeps organizing their own type of a night of thousand laughs. These two ladies who are supposed to be frying eggs have almost every trick on this planet under their skirts. They have married every guy who purchases any of their eggs. If you are newly grabbed and you don’t take care, your girlfriend will leave you for cheating on her with an egg seller. They are so fascinating that you can’t just pass by them to another place to get fried eggs. Another fascinating thing about them is that one of the two is so small yet has a million stretch marks all over her body. Hmmmnnn! This loud mouth of mine will push me into trouble one day.
9. GYAN- please I am not referring to the footballer turned dancer and singer. I am talking about the alleged 20 million bribe rejecter. Eeissh! Do we still have honest people in the world like that? If any police man sees this gentleman, he will either curse him or shoot him down. Huge money like that paaaa, and you blow alarm. They call it CHUKING OF THE CENTURY. If this thing is really true, I think this guy should be made a life SRC vice president of this kingdom. Who in today’s corrupt world full of thieves and kleptomaniac will reject such an offer? He needs to be made a saint of the holy order of my kingdom. I will recommend him to the papacy as well.
10. Hhmmmn, this guy perhaps is the most fascinating of them all. He always has a funny look and walk like those robots in the famous cartoon, Dexter’s laboratory. His nose looks like that of Shaggy of Scooby Doo fame. He is the Afari Gyan of Katanga. When you meet him anywhere around Africa hall, he is called CHARLES, with emphasis on the last syllabus. When you meet him on the campus of Kumasi polytechnic, where he is a regular customer, he is called Mr. Henderson. In the house, he is called Atta. When he is in class, they call him PINOCCHIO. The man of many names. I heard that in his own hall, they call him PORNOCHIO. That’s dangerous. It’s not only his name that makes him interesting. He is on record to be tearing his boxer shorts apart every night. As to what makes him do that, I have no fair idea, but the name PORNOCHIO may perhaps give us a clue.
These are the people who make my kingdom so lively and interesting. If you don’t like them, don’t speak badly about them, because I love them so much. It is their different traits mingled with ours that makes the world an interesting place to. Watch out next time as I bring to you, the top ten hostel in Kumasi. Till I see you when I see you, blow time as never before.
NANA PROF. ANOKESE ANOPEASEM
MSc. ROYAL DISSING.