AYEDUASE’S SLUMDOG BILLIONAIRE PART 1

the Bollywood industry can make a new hit movie out of him.  he leaves in a homstel he has christened Eye’s only.   when you enter where he resides, there is a record number of 24 chamber pots in the compound of the house, half are always filled with all kinds of multi-coloured stuffs.   the house witnesses two women fighting over bathroom rights every evening.  every night, one of the four husbands in the house throws out his wife.  the best scene in that house is early mornings when you see the soon to be   computer and number one agent of Black berry queue up with other tenants of the house with hard cover posters in their hands ready to have their turn on the split monitor toilet facility in the house.

when you enter his room however. it is nicer and more sophisticated than that of Bill Gates.  he uses five black berry phones and two ipad gadgets.  he is yet to acquire a samsung galaxy tablet though.   that is ayeduase’s slum dog billionaire.

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ODE TO KWASI AMAKYE BOATENG (MR)

Today is 20th April, 2011.  It is the birthday of a beloved friend of mine.  It is also another milestone in my life.  It is the day I attend my last class on the Kwame Nkrumah University of Science and Technology campus.  As I prepare for my last POLITICS IN GHANA class, I deem it fit to write an ode for my lecturer who has lectured us for four good years, Mr.   Kwasi Amakye  Boateng, as he takes us through our last class.  Adios!


ODE TO THE OUTSPOKEN MAN.

It is four good years of been under that baritone voice of yours

Always booming with in-depth political philosophies and analysis

Some we understood, others we could not comprehend.   Those we do not understand, we hope to as we take calculated and determined steps towards the exit of KNUST.

Like the huge cock in front of Republic hall, you spread your academic wings over us

Like the statue of the running man in Independence Hall, you taught us to be pacesetters

Like the symbol of Unity Hall, you entreated us not to just hold our knees and look at the world.

Like the iconic Sir John of Katanga, you encouraged us to rest not in our endeavours

You are in your own world and your own unique person.

At times you tend to confuse us.  Was it that you are controversial or it is just that you are outspoken?  That is a puzzle we might solve or never solve.

That voice of yours will continue to resonate in our heads as we go out and take charge of the world

When radio stations don’t carry your voice again, we will radiate with it

Parking our books, saying goodbye to these small classrooms ,  poised to go and untie the knot of wisdom,  all we can say is…. YOU ARE THE MAN!!!

Written on 20/04/2011 @  10:46 am.

HAVE YOU DONE IT TODAY?

I have a soft spot for women and that has motivated me to do a number of literary pieces on issues that affect women.  Let’s roll the ladies corner dice now.

One question that I used to ask myself was the obsession with breast among both men and women.    Men seem to be so much in love with breast even more than the women who carry those breast.  When you are a woman who is less endowed in terms of breast in our part of the world, woe unto you.  No wonder, women of late are paying particular attention to their breasts.  One current trend today is the pushed-up breast with oil or lotion or whatever smeared all over it.  They claim it is used to attract men.  As to if that is the best means of attracting men, we will leave that for another day.

My main concern is about how a lot of women are dying through what they do not know.  Breast cancer and cervical cancer are two dangerous cankers killing our lovely women worldwide.  My dear women, don’t wait till it is too late to salvage your life.  Have you thought of how life will be for you with just one breast, and the other one cut off?  Do you just pay attention to how you can make your breast attractive to men?  Think about the long term maintenance of the breast too.

The big question is have you examined your breast today?  Breast self-examination is one of the best means of early diagnosis of signs of breast cancer. It can save you a lot.  If you don’t do it, start right now. Don’t wait till tomorrow.  It might be too late.

If you are a lady out there who does not know how to carry out the breast self-examination, just follow the steps below.

Step 1: Begin by looking at your breasts in the mirror with your shoulders straight and your arms on your hips.

Here’s what you should look for:

  • Breasts that are their usual size, shape, and colour
  • Breasts that are evenly shaped without visible distortion or swelling

If you see any of the following changes, bring them to your doctor’s attention:

  • Dimpling, puckering, or bulging of the skin
  • A nipple that has changed position or an inverted nipple (pushed inward instead of sticking out)
  • Redness, soreness, rash, or swelling

Step 2: Now, raise your arms and look for the same changes.

Step 3: While you’re at the mirror, look for any signs of fluid coming out of one or both nipples (this could be a watery, milky, or yellow fluid or blood).

Step 4: Next, feel your breasts while lying down, using your right hand to feel your left breast and then your left hand to feel your right breast. Use a firm, smooth touch with the first few finger pads of your hand, keeping the fingers flat and together. Use a circular motion, about the size of a quarter.

Cover the entire breast from top to bottom, side to side — from your collarbone to the top of your abdomen, and from your armpit to your cleavage.

Follow a pattern to be sure that you cover the whole breast. You can begin at the nipple, moving in larger and larger circles until you reach the outer edge of the breast. You can also move your fingers up and down vertically, in rows, as if you were mowing a lawn. This up-and-down approach seems to work best for most women. Be sure to feel all the tissue from the front to the back of your breasts: for the skin and tissue just beneath, use light pressure; use medium pressure for tissue in the middle of your breasts; use firm pressure for the deep tissue in the back. When you’ve reached the deep tissue, you should be able to feel down to your ribcage.

Step 5: Finally, feel your breasts while you are standing or sitting. Many women find that the easiest way to feel their breasts is when their skin is wet and slippery, so they like to do this step in the shower. Cover your entire breast, using the same hand movements described in Step 4.

Hope you are good to start your own breast examination now.  You can have a look at the attached video for further help.

NB:  If after all the steps above and the video, you still can’t find your way around it, just inbox me.  I could be of immense help.  Your comments are invited but do not forget to start now.

DESPERATE MEASURES

I, Jesuslyn Osorohemaa  Arthur  Gyamfi, a  final year BSc. Building and Painting student of KNUST do enact for myself these resolutions for the year 2011.  I can’t agree much with the president of Ghana that this year is an action year. I have watched in vain as all the goodies that university life offers have eluded me all these years.  However this year will not pass me by.

  1. EDUCATION – I have just one semester left and my CWA is nothing to write home about.  I am in the danger zone.  Just like an object in unstable equilibrium, a small tilt will push me over.  The library will be my sleeping place this semester.  I will join almost every study group in my class.  Aha! That fresh TA who smiles at me a lot; I must start smiling back at him.  Maybe I might get some few …… you know what I mean, right?
  2. RELIGION – yes! This is it.   Paa Joe, here I come.  Every night of my remaining days on campus, my voice must be heard on the land of Paa Joe.  I will also tarry a bit longer and travail.  I will excavate my grabbing opportunities that have been buried by the devil and his junior colleagues.  I will reclaim my academic brain that home devils have hanged on a mahogany tree.  I will reclaim my beautiful face that evil spirits have ridden with pimples of different shapes, sizes and colours.
  3. FINANCES – since I stopped selling pure water in my room, my financial strength has dwindled.  This action year however, I must be a hunter, but not a cat hunter.  After reclaiming my brains from that mahogany tree, I must use it to siphon cash from some of these shallow minded TECH boys.   How will I even go about that?  Ok, all my ‘kusekuse’ is in my head.  Maybe if I tell you, some of you might start drawing new strategies.
  4. DRESSING – I shake off my old mentality of dressing this year.  All the ‘parachutes’, the ‘pillow cases’ and the gowns are all gone with 2010. 2011 is my year.  I need to get more sexy and hot dresses.  Aha! That dress Akosua’s boyfriend bought for her last semester is very nice.  I think I should get some of those.  That way I can also show these guys that I am also a woman who can be dated.  I need to send all those skirts to that stone-faced seamstress so she can reduce the length for me.  If Uncle Atta will not reduce petrol prices, as for me I will be magnanimous to reduce the length of my skirts to make visibility clearer.  I can now also show my sexy legs.  Eish!  I have forgotten I have twelve terrible scars on my legs from my early days as an amateur footballer.  Anyway I will still wear them at night.  No yawa!  As those from St. Augustine College will say, “Action Nkotee”.  I will kill those boys in my class this semester.  They must notice me too.
  5. GRABBING – I promise my mum that I will not come home with just a degree.  I promised her to come back with a nice gentleman who will be her son-in-law.  This dream of mine is gradually fizzling out.  I will not however give up.  Even Dr. Edward Mahama has not given up his dreams of sleeping in the Osu Castle.  I will hug almost every guy I see around.  This time, I will not discriminate.  First year or final year, it is just a case of numbers.  I will make sure to practice how to smile in the mirror every morning before I go out.  How do I even get them to like me?  Ok, I will change my date of birth and organize an early drink-up to commemorate my new birthday.  That way I can get them coming to my room.  I will attend every single program on campus.  I will even join those boys in Katanga to charge on Friday.  Perhaps I might find a good guy there.  Ok I need to put my number on facebook as well.

With all this strategies in place, I will not leave school a desperate lady.  Not at all.  Tafiakwa!!   I denounce grablessness.  It shall not be my portion.  Guys, watch out for me JESUSLYN OSOROHEMAA ARTHUR GYAMFI.

Courage Ahiati

Courageislove@gmail.com

SLEEPLESS NIGHTS

   the red eyes are itching

night saliva being swallowed

mosquitoes singing hallelujah in my ears

the frogs having choral rehearsals in the       neighbourhood

sleepless night not itchy eyes

nor of smelly saliva

not bothered about those  tiny terrorist     mosquitoes

nor of the wicked voices of the frogs

sleepless night just thinking of you

your face appearing on my wall

that infectious smile wipes my sleep away

love taking the place of sleep

dedicated to that special lady who keeps tickling my heart  26/02/2011 @  3: 32 am

A MATCH MADE IN HEAVEN.

TO ALL CHRISTIAN SINGLES OUT THERE- YOU GOT TO READ THIS.

there is this American pastor whose sermons and blogs i have grown to love so much. he states the word how it is supposed to be. he does not try to please his audience. he speaks to the very ills of society and to me, he is an end time prophet. he did this piece on relationship and its kinda worth reading. check it out. remember that i did not write it.

A Match Made in Heaven”
Singles Week Revisited – Part 1
Proverbs 3:6 – “Seek his will in all you do, and he will direct
your paths.” NLT

The vow of marriage is a vow. Therefore, we cannot experiment with casual dating, premature intimacy, and multiple simultaneous relationships. We must follow God, even while we are in the dating stage. If you are single, God must lead you! Many single’s conferences will tell you that there is no match made in heaven and that you choose your spouse on your own. They will say that it’s your choice who you choose to spend the rest of your life with. But my bible tells me that in all my ways, I should acknowledge God’s power, and he will direct me. How can I see the future? How could I ever know, with the stakes so high, that I’m choosing the right woman or man? You can’t, unless you are lead by the Spirit of the Lord. I refuse to believe that God won’t lead us to the spouse of his choosing. With society’s methods of raising children and exposing them to all kinds of spirits as they are growing up, there’s no telling these days what kinds of issues you are marrying into. God has to be first in order to be heard! So, if he is speaking to you at all, then why can’t he speak that man or woman of your dreams to you? Why can’t he say Yea or Nay before you say “I do?”

I encourage all singles to find yourselves and your place in God first. Before you ever pursue a relationship, pursue God. Wait until you hear the voice of God about your life, your future, and your purpose. Until the bible speaks to you, don’t do it! Until you are sure that God is leading you, don’t do it. Don’t leave it to chance! Do you honestly believe that God can lead you to the right job, or the right career, or can empower you to cast out devils, and heal the sick, but he can’t show you who your spouse should be? Trust God. Something as important and lasting as a marriage covenant should not be given to chance. And before you are ever blessed to marry the person of your dreams, you must first become a blessing for them!

Suggested Reading: Psa. 37:4, Matt. 6:33, Prov. 16:9, Prov. 19:21

©2011 G. Craige Works All Rights Reserved

FINAL STEPS, FINAL DROPS OF INK

its  been four goods years of treating the KNUST community to my own style of writing.  hundreds of articles flowing from the repertoire of talent the BIG MAN above has given me.  as i walk closer to the exit of  the school, i am pressured to write a chronicle of my four years stay on KNUST campus.  got a title already, ‘FOUR YEARS IN KNUST, A VALEDICTION’.   it might turn out to be my longest work because i have got a lot to say.  just watch out. it will blow your mind and make you go bananas.