I, Jesuslyn Osorohemaa Arthur Gyamfi, a final year BSc. Building and Painting student of KNUST do enact for myself these resolutions for the year 2011. I can’t agree much with the president of Ghana that this year is an action year. I have watched in vain as all the goodies that university life offers have eluded me all these years. However this year will not pass me by.
- EDUCATION – I have just one semester left and my CWA is nothing to write home about. I am in the danger zone. Just like an object in unstable equilibrium, a small tilt will push me over. The library will be my sleeping place this semester. I will join almost every study group in my class. Aha! That fresh TA who smiles at me a lot; I must start smiling back at him. Maybe I might get some few …… you know what I mean, right?
- RELIGION – yes! This is it. Paa Joe, here I come. Every night of my remaining days on campus, my voice must be heard on the land of Paa Joe. I will also tarry a bit longer and travail. I will excavate my grabbing opportunities that have been buried by the devil and his junior colleagues. I will reclaim my academic brain that home devils have hanged on a mahogany tree. I will reclaim my beautiful face that evil spirits have ridden with pimples of different shapes, sizes and colours.
- FINANCES – since I stopped selling pure water in my room, my financial strength has dwindled. This action year however, I must be a hunter, but not a cat hunter. After reclaiming my brains from that mahogany tree, I must use it to siphon cash from some of these shallow minded TECH boys. How will I even go about that? Ok, all my ‘kusekuse’ is in my head. Maybe if I tell you, some of you might start drawing new strategies.
- DRESSING – I shake off my old mentality of dressing this year. All the ‘parachutes’, the ‘pillow cases’ and the gowns are all gone with 2010. 2011 is my year. I need to get more sexy and hot dresses. Aha! That dress Akosua’s boyfriend bought for her last semester is very nice. I think I should get some of those. That way I can also show these guys that I am also a woman who can be dated. I need to send all those skirts to that stone-faced seamstress so she can reduce the length for me. If Uncle Atta will not reduce petrol prices, as for me I will be magnanimous to reduce the length of my skirts to make visibility clearer. I can now also show my sexy legs. Eish! I have forgotten I have twelve terrible scars on my legs from my early days as an amateur footballer. Anyway I will still wear them at night. No yawa! As those from St. Augustine College will say, “Action Nkotee”. I will kill those boys in my class this semester. They must notice me too.
- GRABBING – I promise my mum that I will not come home with just a degree. I promised her to come back with a nice gentleman who will be her son-in-law. This dream of mine is gradually fizzling out. I will not however give up. Even Dr. Edward Mahama has not given up his dreams of sleeping in the Osu Castle. I will hug almost every guy I see around. This time, I will not discriminate. First year or final year, it is just a case of numbers. I will make sure to practice how to smile in the mirror every morning before I go out. How do I even get them to like me? Ok, I will change my date of birth and organize an early drink-up to commemorate my new birthday. That way I can get them coming to my room. I will attend every single program on campus. I will even join those boys in Katanga to charge on Friday. Perhaps I might find a good guy there. Ok I need to put my number on facebook as well.
With all this strategies in place, I will not leave school a desperate lady. Not at all. Tafiakwa!! I denounce grablessness. It shall not be my portion. Guys, watch out for me JESUSLYN OSOROHEMAA ARTHUR GYAMFI.