This is your one and only writing to you again from the cat farm. I am getting a little worried because I have not heard from you since the last time I used Torgbui Tsali’s magical words printer in writing such a romantic letter to you. More so, I have still not received the snow that I requested.
Phoebe, I am writing to you with a heavy heart because if care is not taken, I will abandon my quest of ascending to the throne of my four and half fathers and leave this land of our birth o. Maybe I will join you or go into the wilderness. Who knows, I might also have the burning bush experience and come back to help my people get to the promised land. The kitchen inside the cat farm is so hot, and when I complained, the regent who sells NUnoo milk told me to get my knapsack and get out if I cannot bare the heat. Is that fair?
Well. Since my last letter to you, a lot have happened which just this single letter cannot cover but I will do my best to squeeze it as those big sexy aunties of yours do to the alphabetical strings they wear. How can they be so treacherous to those pieces of clothing.
Anyway, I have good news for your big aunties. Goviefe has introduced Victoria secrets for big women as part of its national policy. From now on, if you a big beautiful woman with very slippery tongue, there is a quota in ministerial positions for people like you.
Did I tell you about the many money-making hiphop entrepreneurs springing up here. Phoebe, these people are enticing me o and if I don’t leave into the wilderness, I might equally abandon my royal ambition and join them in making more cash. Just check out their name : GYEEDA, SADA, SUBAH……….. I am thinking of creating my own soon. Maybe an amalgamation of your name and my royal title will do. So DU-BE should be fine or yet still PHEDU.
My love, I must tell you Goviefe is boiling with drama. I am not trying to entice you to come but you are really missing. Have you heard that the jerseys of the only black stars that shine will be embossed with pictures of bossu Kena? Smart idea , right? Don’t ask me who proposed that idea. I think most of the dishonourable members of our law making house are drinking some contaminated water. I now understand why they are calling for more protection.
I must go now but before I do, let me reaffirm my love to you. Not even the corrosive rot of Bossu Kena’s regime can corrupt our bond. No matter how our secrets are taped and leaked like Victoria, our love will remain unshaken. Even if we are insulted like Miss Appoh koraa, we will still love each other. Even if our loyal friends start attacking us like Sumani, we will not be moved. And for those who want our back, they should just wait. I am sending this letter together with a parcel containing smoked cat meat as a token of my love.